For years have I ever wondered to myself what love actually feels like. I’ve tried googling, reading fictional romance novels and even analyzed a whole Taylor Swift album just to get a gist of what it feels like. I finally came to a conclusion after months of researching that (theoretically) love makes you feel like a writer’s block being finally lifted, a warm blanket that envelopes you on a cold wintry night, the feeling of finding that one curly fry in a sea of straight ones…
…but I call bullshit.
As cliche as it sounds, love is a funny thing…not to mention unfathomable. It is almost damn right impossible for one to know what love is, because with all honesty, it really matters on how you perceive it to be. And no amount of articles on “love” can ever define what love actually feels like.
In fact, when I first fell in love, it wasn’t all positive emotion. In fact, I was in so much pain, I could lose my mind. Love, to me, was painful. I, for one, didn’t like that feeling of vulnerability and a sense of uncertainty of what might happen if my crush finds out that I have feelings for them. And of all the billions of people in the world, I just had to like the one person that understood me and been trough thick and thin with me, the only person that could literally break me if I got rejected– my best friend.
Lucky for me, my best friend and I shared mutual feelings for each other and soon, we began dating. Love didn’t seem like a painful thing after all. My best friend-or should I say my first “boyfriend”- never reached first base. We took it slow and innocent. Which brings me to my point, love does not have to be sexual. In movies and in novels, I feel that society is constantly trying to mold us into believing that sex=love or love=sex. Being in love doesn’t mean you have to have sex with them. But sex is something one does to show they love their other half. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning sex. I’m just saying that sex is not love but rather an act to express love.
So, what is love?
Well, I have no idea. Love is a emotion that everyone experiences differently. May it be sexual desires, that feeling of adrenaline rush, or that stabbing feeling in your heart whenever you hear that name…it depends. In conclusion, love can mean so many things, and not necessarily what google tells you.